Out of Mongolia

Many are cold, but few are frozen 
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kids

 

I'm a Bad Daddy

Last night I went to my kids' Winter Concert. I hated it. Does that mean I'm a bad daddy? Maybe so. But my suffering was real.

Just think about it. I had to watch performances from preschool through Grade 5 in a gym with horrible acoustics. The theme? Peace! Hello? Mongolia is not exactly at war with anyone, and hasn't been for generations. The theme ought to have been "let's improve the business environment so that investors don't leave" or something else relevant to the country.

And the performances? The horror, the horror! You can imagine the technical skills of small children. Mostly out-of-tune screeches and wails. Preschool was only bearable because of their incredible cuteness. The 5th graders were also OK, since at that age they're starting to show the very beginnings of talent.

Are they 3rd Graders, or are they flesh-eating Zombies?

But  there is a huge gap between the cuteness and talent. Grade 3, my son's class, is right in the middle. These poor kids performed  "The Hora," a traditional Jewish folk dance. The entire class stumbled clumsily in circles, like the zombies in "Night of the Living Dead."  An insult to Jewish history and culture, in my opinion.

I know that school concerts are good for children's development, and that it is my duty as a parent to watch them and praise them. I will do that. But I will continue to suffer at school concerts, at least until my kids are in 5th grade. When I think that this dark scenario is being repeated all over the world, year after year after year, I feel the collective pain of parents everywhere. 

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Filed under  //   Humor   Kids   School   Suffering   Torture   Zombies  

Comments [1]

She's My Baby, She's My Girl

This little creature is only alive because she is cute. She drives me crazy. Right now she is trying to sit on my head as I lie in bed writing on my laptop. I sternly warn her not to fart. She giggles, and climbs up again. Her toes hover above the keyboard.
 
Damn, she's cute
 
I have a theory that cuteness was the key advantage of Homo Sapiens as it competed with other human species, like the Neanderthals. Image an annoying Neanderthal toddler pestering his mother. Neanderthal Mom gets irritated. She picks up the thighbone of an antelope and looks at him. The toddler is butt-ugly. Without hesitation, she whacks him over the head, and the Neanderthal gene pool gets a little smaller.
 
Now imagine the same thing with a child as cute as this one. Will Homo Sapiens Mom hit her over the head? No, impossible. No matter how angry, Mom is overwhelmed by her child's cuteness. The thighbone lies untouched on the ground.  Maybe some of the ugliest Homo Sapien children didn't make it, but clearly enough did in those early days for the species to spread all over the world.
 
I look at that laughing little face, and my irritation fades away. She is the very definition of cuteness. She's my baby, she's my girl.

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Filed under  //   Cuteness   Family   Gene Pool   Homo Sapiens   Kids   Life   Neanderthal  

Comments [8]